Not good enough.
You don’t have friends.
You bring nothing to the table.
Things will never be good.
Your kids will never come to know Christ.
Just typing these, my chest feels heavy.
But that’s exactly how my life has felt the last few weeks. Heavy.
And not because of anything other than LIES. Lies from the Enemy.
I know this is going to sound odd, but the way in which fear has crippled me is with my kids especially. I’m worried, anxious, over-protective, and controlling because of my fear. Specifically, the fear that has consumed me in the last year is fear that my kids will get sick. I know. Typing it out it looks so silly because I KNOW my kids will get sick. It’s part of living in this fallen world and having three kiddos under 7 who love to share germs by putting EVERYTHING in their mouths. But when that fear comes over me, I become OCD about it. Let me check their temps 10x a day. Wash their hands excessively. Oils on everything. Disinfect everything. Get nervous every time they sneeze, cough, poop, have a bump or rash, kind of obsession.
And sadly, I’ve bought into the lie that most mothers have believed: “It’s okay to worry. That’s what mothers do. We have the right to worry.”
NO. WE. DON’T.
The Bible is CLEAR in it’s mandate to not worry. About ANYTHING.
Philippians 4:6, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God…” (ESV)
Matthew 6:25 “Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?” (ESV)
1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all of your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” (emphasis mine.)
Ask yourself : “What is the thing that scares me the most?” Is it something with your kids? Your job? Financial security? Relationships? What people think of you?
That very area that you feel scared by is the thing that you TRUST GOD the LEAST with and will be the thing that you TRY to CONTROL MOST.
(Examples: Afraid that something will happen to your kids? Look at my above example of how I try to control them. Afraid you won’t have enough money? Maybe you try to control it by always looking for a way to make an extra dollar, or you aren’t generous with what’s already been given to you. You clinch tightly onto material possessions. )
You see, the lies that I have bought into that the Enemy has whispered, have been the very things that I have no faith in God to take care of.
And I am tired of trying to control the outcome of things that I have ZERO control over. Instead, I can rest assured that God is in control of ALL things. He is omnipresent, omniscient, and all-powerful.
I am tired of excusing myself as a mother for living a life of fear and anxiety with my children. Instead, I can live my life in peace (even when things don’t go my way) because God loves my children more than I do. He gives perfect peace to those who keep their minds on Him. (Isaiah 26:3).
(Also, it’s worth noting that the more I pursue Christ and His Kingdom, the more I seem to find resistance from the Enemy. The lies at first start to trickle in, but then, it seems like a tidal wave of fear rushes over me. And if it’s not fear, it’s depression. Or loneliness. Confusion. Discouragement. A week ago, Jordan and I had a great weekend. We had some great conversations about faith, we had invited some neighborhood kids to church (which our youth leader, Heather, had shared the gospel with them), and we had listened to some great sermons and podcasts that had jumpstarted our week in a great direction. Then Tuesday afternoon, this cloud of depression seemed to hang over our home for several days. Nothing made sense. We both felt anxious. Really down and lonely. And honestly, I wasn’t shocked. The Enemy was not happy about what had happened in our home the weekend before. )
I’m not saying that fear will never sweep into your heart and mind. In fact, it most certainly will. BUT, we don’t not need to be bound or slaves to that fear. Christ has come to set us free. Seek the Truth of the Gospel and who He is. Besides, the TRUTH will set you FREE. (John 8:32)
This week, I heard this song from Zach Williams, who just won Artist of the Year at the Dove Awards. It’s been one of those songs that have come to me at the right time. And I know there are some of you out there who are reading who have been crippled with fear like I have. Maybe not in the same way, but there is an area of your life that you don’t trust God COMPLETELY with. I pray today that you will recognize the lies you have believed, the ways in which you have become controlling, and ask God to give you a bigger faith in Him in that area of your life.
He is faithful to do abundantly more than we ask or think!